This morning I opted out of going to get breakfast at west gate... ( I have been eating peanut butter and jelly for breakfast) I told Ben the night before that I would probably sleep a little bit later and not be going with him to west gate at 7.... Around 7:35 as I am preparing my final materials for class, Ben knocks on my door... He tells me that he decided not to go to get breakfast at west gate because he had been told that a girl jumped from the dorm adjacent to the gate... He proceeded to tell me that the girl was a junior... I immediately got a sick feeling in my stomach as I realized that I have 6 classes of girls that live in that building and that 3 of them are juniors... I was on my way to one of those classes at that time...
I hoped and prayed that it was not one of my students, and I took Ben's advice and decided to act as if I didn't know anything about it and proceed with the lesson as normal... I got to class and all of the students looked miserable. Sara, the class monitor, told me at the beginning of the class what happened. She explained that the girl was NOT an English major and that the she climbed from the 4th floor to the 6th and jumped... I am not sure whether or not she died immediately, I can only hope that her suffering was minimal. This occurred at 11 PM last night... She went on to say that police and investigators were there until about 3 AM... Most of the class had barely fallen asleep by the time they had to get up for class...
I tried to go on with class as normally as possible. I was my bright and exciting self... But at the end of class I told them: "If you need anything, any help with any classes, to talk about anything, any problems whatsoever, you can talk to me." I couldn't bare it if this would have been one of my students... They seemed in better spirits by the end of the class and this also made me feel a little better. I think that I am also connecting with them on a more personal basis, which should make this year much better for all of us...
My thoughts: youth suicide seems to be quite a problem here. I think that it is because students receive so much pressure from all angles: society, family and themselves... Sometimes they just crack and see no way out... I am not sure that there are many outlets for them either... As I am writing this, I wonder if there is any psychiatric help made available to the students... This is doubtful, but I will be looking into it... a life cut short is always such a tragedy...
I have learned today that this kind of thing is perhaps more common than I first thought... Apparently, about 5 students will commit suicide every year here on campus... This is a serious problem.. I still need to see what kind of services are available... On a similar note, a student approached me tonight to tell me that she was deeply disturbed because she lives on the first floor of that building and the girl hit just outside of her window... So damn tragic
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